Thursday, 22 March 2012

Tevez is back, Man City comeback

Dubbed as "el cashico" by someone far more intelligent than I, tonight saw Manchester City play host to Chelsea. It was the return of Tevez and perhaps the first evidence to show that he really might be the difference between first and second and the link between man and beast.

Tevez definitely looks a little bit like Blanka from Streetfighter. I know he's wearing a Manchester United top there but I'm too lazy to change it. Manchester City showed tonight that they do have the cojones to win the league this year. They went a goal down against the run of play to a crappy Gary Cahill deflected effort. City were definitely the better side but looked a bit flat and devoid of creativity, with the exception of Nasri who was brilliant. It was like the melty-faced lesbian was giving the middle-finger to the commentator who kept reminding us about the terrible season he has had.

After going a goal down it was time for Carlos Tevez. Still sporting a belly that was no doubt created through the last few months of fannying around back in Argentina and eating various small animals,  Tevez came on and showed glimpses of just what he brings to the Man City team- directness, quality in the final third and a face so ugly that it makes defenders back off him and creates space.

Aguero scored the equaliser with a tidy penalty after Essien had decided to play handball in the box. Nasri's winner was absolutely brilliant. He played the ball into Tevez, who then played a delightful little reverse pass into the box for Nasri to run onto and dink over Peter Cech. All the paedos out there would have been delighted to see Nasri taking off his shirt and revealing his 12 year-old boy's torso. The gay paedos of course, I'll refrain from making a joke about the Catholic church.

It seems crazy that Manchester City might not win the league. They have Yaya Toure, de Jong, Silva, Nasri, Johnson, Tevez, Balotelli, Dzeko, Aguero and so on. Manchester United could win the league with one pass Carrick, wife banging Giggs, war veteran Scholes, one trick Young, something Valencia and NBA star Welbeck all playing major roles, how is that possible? The Premier League really is shit. Sometimes I think Mancini is doing a good job and then I realise he's spent £2bn and still tries to play Gareth Barry at every opportunity.