Thursday, 1 March 2012

Stuart Pearce doesn't think he's very good

Poor Stuart Pearce needs some self confidence because he's talked himself out of the England job, despite only overseeing a friendly game that left 2 players wounded and 1 dead.


Pearce selected war time hero from the 40s, Scott Parker as his captain, and he duly obliged with the honour by running around being kicked, then immediately getting up again.  Parker makes a perfect England captain because he's a great player, doesn't start fights, doesn't bang other players' wives, doesn't go to whore houses, tries really hard, and always makes one mistake that leads to an opposition goal at a crucial time.  It's simply wonderful to watch.

Pearce meanwhile has revealed that he really doesn't think his managerial skills are that good.
"I would be confident taking the squad to the Euros, that wouldn't daunt me at all," said Pearce.
"I don't think after that period I have the experience for the job. All I'm doing is buying the Football Association some time.
"The full-time manager of England at this moment in time is probably somebody else, not me."
At the exact same time he said this, Premier League managers everywhere screamed into their pillows at the unnecessary injuries sustained by Gerrard, Sturridge and Smalling in such a pointless friendly.  Speaking of Chris Smalling, the news will come as a pleasant distraction for him since he currently believes that the hospital he's staying in is on a unicorn farm beneath a rainbow.  Before last night he only looked like a jelly baby, but now his skull feels like one too.  He's going to go back to training and meet everyone all over again like Harold Bishop.