Fabrice Muamba is still in hospital but friends and family have announced that he can officially respond to questions in English and French, making a potentially brain damaged man 100% smarter than almost every single person in Britain.
The Bolton midfielder remains in a critical condition but the fact he can converse with others is something of a massive bonus, considering doctors were, and still are, incredibly concerned that he might die. As well as being able to talk, the 23 year old can also move his arms and legs which again is pretty awesome. His life may very well have been saved by a senior cardiac consultant Spurs fan watching the match who rushed onto the pitch when he saw Muamba collapse. This wasn't a member of the medical team or anything - he just knew, like a heart related Spiderman, that the player was in a lot of trouble. And somehow got past all the security attendants.
The biggest potential problem for Muamba, assuming he survives as I'm going to keep doing, is that he didn't breathe for around 6 minutes following the collapse and this could lead to possible brain damage. The same thing appears to have happened unnoticed to Alan Shearer before he started his career as a TV pundit.
On a serious note, yet again we'd like to extend our gratitude and eternal respect to the doctors and scientists that have kept Muamba alive. Legends. If this had happened 15 years ago he'd be a gonner. Go humans!