Monday, 19 March 2012

Kilmarnock win a trophy!

In Scotland we have Cup competitions which are largely irrelevant because only two teams ever win them. THIS YEAR IS DIFFERENT!  HOORAY FOR KILMARNOCK


Kilmarnock beat Celtic 1-0 in the Scottish League Cup final, all but confirming Neil Lennon as the worst Celtic manager I can remember ever.  His only job is to spend more money than everyone else and not lose to shitty teams that no-one cares about, yet he can't get that right.  So shocked was Killie player Liam Kelly's father over the result that he had a heart attack and is now in hospital.  He's still alive at the moment so everything's not too bad.  Kelly said:
"I am all over the place, I really am.
"It happened right beside this dugout and I am only doing this press conference out of respect to you (the media) so I hope you appreciate that.
"I don't know the medical term, but it is a heart attack, probably. He is away to hospital and the family has gone with him.
"I have gone from so high an emotion to so low an emotion.
Way to bum everyone out.  I'd like to point out that the media he's referring to almost certainly does not include us.  Yet again heart attacks put into perspective how largely pointless football is, and this is emphasised times 9 billion when it's the Scottish League Cup.  This will end up being the high point of probably every single one of those players' careers and to put that into perspective, I didn't even know the game was on until I read the match report.

Can everyone stop having heart attacks please?

Edit: Kelly's father has since passed away which really, really sucks.  Sincere best wishes to all