Thursday, 1 March 2012

Darren Fletcher hopes to return next season

Everyone thought Darren Fletcher had AIDS because he looks like he's got AIDS. We were all relieved when we found out it wasn't AIDS and was actually ulcerative colitis. The most exciting player the premier league has ever seen, hopes to return to action next season.

Fletcher has had a pretty crappy time in recent months. He has been forced to have a break from football "indefinitely", which must be really shit for someone like Darren, who actually loves playing football. It seems unfair that Fletcher would do anything to play but can't for fear of sharting when he scores a goal yet Tevez gets paid £200,000 a week to do anything to avoid playing football.

He's been told that is is a condition that cannot be cured but he hopes that with medication, the right diet, hypnotherapy and  an adult nappy, he could be back in action this summer. Darren might as well enjoy his time off. Go out, pull up a bar stool and get shit-faced. Perhaps go home and see some old faeces? Maybe just plop down on the sofa and watch some DVDs? I think I'm dung, I am so pooped from the gym.