The super-ape has been in great form for Spurs this year, turning running in a straight line and shooting into the far post from being a frowned upon thing in 5-a-sides, to being awesome in real football. I'm basing this story on a headline I may have misread online somewhere, but most things on the internet are pretty legit, so I'm just going to trust my instinct. Like that time I picked up a hitchhiker and he went on to murder an entire village with his bare hands. Life sure is funny sometimes.
