Saturday, 3 March 2012

Arsenal will remortgage their house to keep RVP

Arsenal are quite good at football sometimes.  Sometimes = anytime that RVP is on the ball.  This is why Arsene Wenger is set to scrap all his previous financial plans and pay him whatever he wants.  Money, drugs, blow jobs - anything.

Until now, Wenger thought it very important to keep everyone in the squad on an equal financial plane so that they play together as a squad and work for the team as opposed to their own contract.  This doesn't actually work in the real world because no matter how inspired you make someone at their job they'd still rather be sitting in their pants eating pringles and playing Golden Axe than being at work.  Your job could be 'professor of feeling hot girls' tits' and you'd still resent having to go into work on Monday.

This is not the case for Robin van Persie who continues to defy any efforts his opponents make to stop him from scoring by scoring all. the. time.  Wenger plans to offer van Persie about £150,000 a week to make him stay at the club and stop it falling apart like a leper in a car crash, and this should keep the Dutchman in London because he apparently has no ambition whatsoever.  Also, in what world should Abou Diaby be paid £50,000/60,000 a week?  I don't want to live in that world.  What does he even do?