Saturday, 31 March 2012

All hail the possible return of Fernando Torres

Good old Fernando Torres just can't stay out of the headlines at the moment and now it's because he can score goals again!  Imagine that?


Because AVB doesn't believe in ghosts, our friend the barbecue ghost was unable to lend his supernatural powers to Fernando's existing attributes of running like one of those robot hoovers that bounces into things and then turns the other way.  That is the only explanation for the absolutely abysmal form he's had at that club.  With Chelsea holding a 3-2 lead against Villa today (saturday) and Alex McLeish's team on the hunt for an equaliser, Roberto Di Matteo's side counter attacked, putting Torres through on goal to round Shay Given and score his first Premiership goal in 6 months.

To reiterate that point, it took him 6 months to score a single Premier League goal.  Oh my christ.  I think John Beresford was a more prolific player than that.  Yeh, you remember him?  Do you like it when I name obscure left sided players?  Regi Blinker.  UHHHHHHHH YEH.  Francis Benali.  UUUUUUUUHHHHHHH I CAN FEEL IT COMING OUT OF MY BONES UUUUHUUHHHHUHHHHHHHHH  CAN YOU FEEL IT TOO?  UUUUHHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEH

If you ever wondered why we aren't ever nominated for any awards or anything like that, that last paragraph should probably help you.