Thursday, 23 February 2012

Stuart Pearce really wants to be the England boss

Stuart Pearce would probably literally kill someone if it meant he could be the England boss, seeing as he's been weaselling his way towards it for the past 5 years.  Now he's the caretaker he finally has keys to the office and so is barricading himself in with chairs.


Because he wasn't very good at managing in the lower parts of the Premiership or even acting as an assistant to a current top-class manager, Pearce has decided to learn how to manage football at an international level by working out how best to hang out with important FA types.  Handed the reigns for England's next match, Pearce's first squad includes almost-not-injured pair Tom Cleverley and Frazier Campbell alongside about five right backs, and with the exclusion of Frank Lampard and Rio Ferdinand.

I already like his approach because it's immediately beaten most past England manager's team selections which were the equivalent of making your dinner out of things you find in your cupboards, as opposed to getting anything actually good from the shops.  Tonight we feast on taco shells, pasta and balloons - all amazing when combined individually with the right ingredients but thrown together in the same pan, they lose on penalties and get sent off.

Pearce said:
"This job, and the profile of this job, is for a very experienced man with a better CV than I have at this moment in time,"
Which I have since copied into my own CV, underneath my 'best features and greatest fears' section which reads 'honesty and shark attacks'.  Not many people have that section, I'M THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX