|image from the telegraph|
Also, according to the BBC, the lorry that he crashed into weighed 36 tonnes. What the fuck was on that lorry? Frank Lampard? Merson might say he was sleeping but what everyone forgets to mention is that the lorry in question was actually a Coors Light transporter, and Merson was racing up to it in the hope that he could syphon loads of beer into bottles whilst driving. Like a really weird, homeless James Bond.