The Barbecue Ghost has sadly been removed from Fernando Torres' house in London due to an exorcism performed by a passing priest. He saw the video I made and was like 'the power of christ compels you', unaware of the damage he was doing to Torres' scoring abilities. The Spanish striker told ESPN:
So he knows he's playing badly, guys. We can all stop telling him now - there's no need in making someone feel bad about themselves unnecessarily. If we just lend Torres our support, by the year 2043 he may very well have scored another 7, maybe 8 goals and if anything, at least you'll know that you helped. Didier Drogba is praying the Spaniard finds more, because the minute Romelu Lukaku gets in the team he might have to share a hotel room with him at away games. And then it's rape city. I think if Drogba and Lukaku had sex together they'd probably find the Higs Boson. It's been there all along, scientists!