Cristiano Ronaldo's dream move to Real Madrid has turned into a royal pain in the ass seeing as he doesn't like being booed for scoring more goals than Jesus could, and Real Madrid fans are cunts.
Reports in newspapers today suggest that Ronaldo has finally had just about enough of not being appreciated as the greatest player of all time ever and wants the adulation he can only receive from English football fans. A move to Manchester United is unlikely seeing as they probably don't have £80million lying around, which would leave Manchester City and Chelsea as the only real money rich candidates capable of signing the forward. Maybe then we can investigate as to who the mother of his child actually is without just using google maps to try and find him. That takes ages. I hope it's not Gabriel Obertan. If that guy is allowed to mate it's going to doom humanity