Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Chelsea players still text message Jose Mourinho

If there's anything more exciting than a news piece on a footballer sending a text message to another footballer, I'm terrified to learn what it is, but TIL that some Chelsea players still keep in contact with their old boss!  HOLY FUCK MAGNETS

The above picture shows Mourinho just hanging out in a car park so he can get enough signal to receive texts from, I assume, Frank Lampard and John Terry.  The reason we know this is that the Porto chairman was recently interviewed and said:
"He needs time to mould his team," - Jorge Nuno Pinto da Costa, who employed Mourinho and Villas-Boas at Porto.
"He can't do that as long as there are players, as I've heard, who exchange text messages with Mourinho."
So like 14 year old girls at high-school, Chelsea players text their old friend to bitch about AVB's new training methods and tactics and how much they don't suit their style of play and that's why they're playing so badly.  Clearly the only option AVB has here is to ban mobile phones from England, because until then how can he possibly control his mutinous minions?  Perhaps he should blow up the internet as well so that they can't Skype anymore and have to exchange hand written letters.  Imagine having an owl that actually delivered letters to people?  How on earth can you train an owl to do that?  It doesn't know words!  I thought shouting at it a lot would help but actually, it just makes everyone else in the pet store look at you weird.