Sunday, 26 February 2012

Arsenal 5 - 2 Tottenham Lolspurs

Harry Redknapp continued his covert operation to not be offered the England job by allowing his Spurs team to surrender and be buggered by Arsenal in Sunday's North London derby.

The fun and games began when Louis Saha pinged a shot off the Arsenal defence and past Chesney Hawkes, making everyone watching the game shift in their seats a little and collectively think 'hmmm... so this is one of those games'.  Gareth Bale performed a spectacular dive to cheat his side a penalty and Emmanuel Adebayor put the ball between those big white stick things, registering a score on the battle sheet, sponsored by Budweiser.

I, and most of you, instantly assumed this was going to turn into one of those very funny Arsenal capitulations but we had no idea what was to come.  So then what happened is Arsenal started remembering that they are very good at football and their space alien right back, Bacary Sagna, scored a "bullet header", setting the way for Robin van Persie to then equalise minutes before half time.

After the break, Tomas Rosicky scored his first goal in 85 years by running in a straight line until someone crossed the ball off his foot and Theo Walcott conspired to troll every football fan on internet land who had written him off forever prior to this game, by scoring two fine goals.  It would appear that the more abuse he gets, the stronger he grows - like an abused house wife or power ranger.

All in all you'll be pleased to know that I actually haven't seen the game other than the bit where Gareth Bale practised for the oscars tonight, and the bit where Rosicky scored, so I don't really that much more about it.  This is the part where I'd normally put in a joke.