Monday, 13 February 2012

Aaron Ramsey: Heart-throb, goal-scorer... murderer?!?!?!

When Aaron Ramsey scores, people DIE!

Aaron Ramsey scores V Man Utd (01/05/11) - Bin Laden dies (02/05/11)

Aaron Ramsey scores V Tottenham (02/10/11) - Steve Jobs dies (05/10/11)

Aaron Ramsey scores V Marseille (19/10/11) - Col. Gadaffi dies (20/10/11)

Aaron Ramsey scores V Sunderland (11/2/12)- Whitney Houston dies (11/2/12)

These chilling statistics prove the horror that Aaron Ramsey has to live with on a daily basis.  These are just the famous people - at his other clubs lots of other normal human people have probably also died as a direct result of his goalscoring.  

Ramsey is conflicted with emotions - on one hand he needs to score goals to drive Arsenal further up the league table and towards Champions League success, but on the other, the next time he pings one in from 25 yards, celebrities everywhere will fear for their safety.  President Obama has already ordered that he has to watch all Arsenal games on Air Force One, not only because it keeps him safe but also because they have a really sweet bar in there and when Michelle has some champagne she gets nasty.  NASTY!  Bow chicka wah wah