Thursday, 5 January 2012

Vladimir Romanov is mental

"That isn't news!", you cry. Ever since he came to Scotland, Romanov  has been a constant source of hilarity. Remember when Hearts fans were talking about challenging the Old Firm and competing regularly in the Champions League? That one season sure was fun.  With the media focusing their spot light on the Hearts owner and the club's inability to pay the wages of it's players, Romanov appears to have finally cracked.


He released a statement on the official Hearts website which you can find right HERE. I will just quote my favourite sections. It starts off in a particularly aggressive tone, attacking all and sundry.
"As soon as Hearts moved closer to the third spot the monkeys start to squeal, lie and create conspiracy plots."
"Monkey" is a word he uses rather a lot in his statement, although it is never made clear exactly who they "monkeys" are. Allegations of racism have so far been unfounded.  Vlad is all pissed off because he said that everybody was told that the wages would be paid as soon as they sold Eggert Jonsson. I had a mate like Vlad at university. Whenever he owed someone money he would just put it off and off for as long as possible and then eventually pawn his Xbox 360.

In case you didn't know, Vlad is definitely selling the club and he needs you all to know that. Then something about football being show business? After filtering through all the pish, there is one thing I do agree with. Giving your money to any club in Scotland that isn't the Old Firm is completely pointless. Unless you have full control and start playing yourself up front. Perhaps have the Hairy Bikers at centre back and Ainsley Harriott in goals.

Romanov hates everyone but especially this Mowgli character, his final paragraph.
"The progress is there - Mowgli is under prosecution and in exile. But until they open a zoo for the monkeys and keep them in cages, they will keep jumping on people who are straightforward and not afraid to speak."
I sincerely hope that he isn't talking about black people. Farewell Vladimir, it's been fun.