|from the Guardian|
Some wretched little shit tweeted -
"@StanCollymore has anyone ever called you Stan Cooneymore #greatracistabuse."Followed by -
"@StanCollymore has anyone ever referred to you as semi pro as in a semi pro coon #neitherwhitenorblack."Collymore thought "you know what, fuck this noise" and called the police. Northumbria police confirmed early Saturday morning that they were looking into the incident. Well they have now confirmed that they have arrested a twenty-one year old man called Joshua Cryer. It's an appropriate name really as he is currently peeing in his pants and crying himself to sleep in a tiny cell at the thought of his life being ruined. As far as I know he tried the "I've been fraped" excuse but used the same hash-tags in his sniveling apology as he did in his racist tweets. What a wally.
It is rumoured that Joshua is actually studying law at university. Oops. Can't really see him getting far in his law career with a "Section Five racial public order offence and a Section Five public order offence" against his name. Believe me, I got convicted for urinating in the street naked with a traffic cone on my head. I didn't see the homeless person on the pavement, honest. I've been unemployed ever since but thanks to the knowledge gained from Bear Grylls and Ray Mears I have managed to create a very nice shelter for myself out of pizza hut boxes. The last laugh's on me though because I also tapped into the mains and used some old lady's wireless. The foolish midden didn't even have a password.