Monday, 16 January 2012

Ryan Giggs ruins lives, brother hates him

Until recently we all thought Ryan Giggs was this remarkable role model - a real stand out guy, who keeps his body in shape and continues to impress football crowds well into his late 30s, never causing anyone any harm.  AND THEN: SEX

hot linked from dailymail.co.uk
Isn't that a nice picture of two lovers?  No!  It's all lies!  That woman was Rhodri Giggs' wife, Ryan's sister in law, and Ryan went and banged her for like 14 years as well, so now we have proof that he likes doing incest!  Sort of.  Well, not really.  This is actually old news, but Rhodri has been in the news crying about how his life is ruined blah blah blah but most importantly of all that he can no longer watch Manchester United games if his sibling is on the team sheet.

Of course this story is from The Sun so it's not as if there's any actual journalism involved but I don't think that really matters anymore.  If Mario Balotelli was seen exchanging a five pound note for a bottle of water in a shop, all the guys in the Sun office would start furiously trying to work out a way to make him feel awful about it.  For example:

"Mario Balotelli puts shop owners out of business" - in a SHOCKING twist of Balotelli's character, he only bought water and not Coca Cola, thus ruining the tiny corner shop's profit margins.  A close friend of the striker said "sometimes Mario has even seen naked girl boobs in real life".  Mario was unavailable for comment"

And so on.