Thursday, 19 January 2012

Pepe is a terrible "human"

The use of quotation marks is important in this instance, as scientists are still trying to determine the true origin of the creature we know as Pepe. What we do know is, he is a massive helmet.

Last night was El Classico, it's less of a football match these days and more of a one sided death match. Real Madrid were up at half-time. However after a quick reply after the break from Puyol, Real's players had the "we are not good enough to beat them" face on. It so happened to be true. Barcelona kept the ball for pretty much the entire second half so Real Madrid tried to kick them to death. It didn't work and they lost. 2-1.

I haven't seen grown men go down that easy since I accidentally went to that gay bar. Pepe is the worst kind of footballer. Any slight contact and he jumps to the ground like he has taken a back-hand chop from the Undertaker. However when the opposition have the ball, he is often found leaving his studs in, coming through the back of players and when he really get's excited he will just carry out a full on assault and get sent off.

He has been caught on camera, apparently stamping on Messi's foot. Not a good idea to do that to anyone but especially to the world's golden boy. Madrid seem to control the Spanish football association so rather than a suspension, he will probably get a standing ovation accompanied by a shot and a beer.