Newcastle United have announced the signing of Senegalese striker Papiss Demba Cisse who I have never, ever heard of.
The 26 year old agreed the move right before he boarded a plane to Africa for the Cup of Nations, and will meet up with his new team mates when he finishes that tournament. He's an international team-mate of Demba Ba so the two can talk about all the geordie slags he can get destroy once he moves, as is my understanding of black people, based solely on all the porn that I watch. Some call it smut, some call it degrading - I on the other hand find it both educational and arousing, yet still the school boards won't listen to me. Some of us are just born innovators, I guess.