Wayne Rooney does a lot of promotion for FIFA 12 because he's contractually obliged to and he claims to be pretty good at it. Not good enough to beat Portuguese children though, because the awesomely named Francisco Cruz won a recent FIFA tournament and then beat the Man Utd striker 3-0.
After beating like 900,000 other people somehow, young Cruz, pictured below, then went on to beat Gerard Pique.
Pique only lost 1-0 as opposed to the 3-0 loss Rooney suffered, and said "Wayne lost 3-0, so I am better than him at FIFA ’12!" and everyone laughed ha ha ha a aahh ahhaa ha what a great guy. And you've just read an article about three people playing FIFA. Fucking hell what has become of this place?! I'd make a joke about this being the story that nearly pushed Dean Windass over the edge last week but that would be really offensive so I won't.