The Incredible Hulk's agent has claimed that his client will not force a move away from Porto in the January transfer window but that the chairman should definitely expect to sell him in the summer. If he doesn't then you could make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
Ha ha! I finally managed it. The club most heavily linked with Hulk is of course Chelsea, where AVB has been giving himself CAT scans in order to work out just which players would be the best to buy for his side. The results came back with: "any of the players you used to have at your old job" and AVB jumped in to the air with joy. "I knew it!" he yelled, and with that he rushed to Roman Abramovich's office to spread the news. "Sir, sir! We need to sign Hulk!", "What-ho!" replied the Russian oil tycoon, "that sounds like a marvellous idea, young man! Have this bag of gold coins and fetch him immediately!"
Little Andre Villas-Boas ran as fast his little legs would take him all the way to Portugal, where club officials at Porto told him that Hulk was already waiting for him in the lobby. "What a wonderful day!" he shouted with glee, as holding his former striker's hand they skipped off into the sun.
CAT scan actually reveals brain tumour