Sunday, 22 January 2012

FRIMPONG ALERT: We can rebuild him

Emmanuel Frimpong has been taken to hospital under the pretence that his eye is injured following a challenge by Stiliyan Petrov but of course we know that he's actually being put into the lab for minor modifications.

image from offthepost.com
During Wolves' weekend game with Aston Villa, the Frimpong bravely attacked the ball with a diving header.  Petrov attacked it with his foot, which also managed to cause 'massive swelling' around the Frimpong's eye.  The most likely cause for this is that he tweaked the 'anger' control knob hidden just behind one of the Frimpong's visual devices, known to humans as "eyes".
"I can't remember too much about it to be honest.
"I remember heading the ball and, from what I heard, I then got a kick in the face. We'll just have to give it a couple of days and wait for it to settle down."
That's what the man said to the BBC after returning from hospital.  See that?  I'm talking to you potential trouble makers.  He doesn't even remember when you kick him.  You can run him over with your car, lock him in a box and bury him underground, or set him on fire - the Frimpong just keeps on walking towards you until he decides it's time to kick your ass.  Or pass the ball sideways to a team-mate.  KABLAAAAAA!