Thursday, 19 January 2012

FIFA tells Brazil that beer 'must be sold'

Everybody knows that the greatest thing ever invented is beer - it makes good things happen, makes people more attractive and tastes quite nice.  Except for the first time you drink it.  I don't understand what the first ever guy who made beer was thinking, because I'd definitely try and make it more like irn bru or something.  Anyway

Occasionally bad things happen when you drink too much beer, as the girl pictured above probably found out all too awkwardly when the dude on the left possibly maybe tried, or did, rape her in her sleep on Big Brother Brazil.  He has apparently had his voting privileges revoked for the next two weeks - the most serious of Big Brother punishments.  I jest, he's actually probably going to jail.  FIFA doesn't care though and has demanded that the ban on beer in Brazilian football stadiums be lifted for the 2014 world cup.

If this sounds unlike FIFA for making some sense and hoping people enjoy the festivities of the tournament, it's because it is unlike FIFA.  The actual reason they want the ban lifted is so that Budweiser don't get annoyed, seeing as they basically fund the whole thing and because the World Cup hasn't been about pride, passion or sport for years now, they might as well make as much cash as they can while they try to build Sepp Blatter's pyramid tomb.

The Brazilian government is opposed to the ban being lifted because they implemented it in the first place, but since Blatter is under the impression that he actually rules the world, this is unlikely to matter.  Now, let's get pissed!