Monday, 2 January 2012

Everton are too poor to sign Jordan Rhodes

Premiership side Everton are showing interest in Huddersfield's Jordan Rhodes, who has scored 8000 goals this season, only a few behind the club's all time top scorer, Ian Rush's cousin's son's friend's dad.


I actually made that up.  David Moyes feels his team could do with some extra striking fire power and because he accidentally signed Jermaine Beckford without knowing he was disabled, he feels bad about it and thinks this might appease the fans.  Also, Rhodes is completely Scottish so the two will have heaps to talk about.  Like how haggis is a real creature and.... other things Moyes will tell him in order to make him look silly.  What a dick.

The main stumbling block for the move is the fact that Everton don't have the £4million required to sign the young striker, and in fact also don't have the £2million Huddersfield would probably accept.  Can anyone lend Phil Neville a fiver?  It's for a friend.  Definitely not to buy dinner.