Monday, 9 January 2012

Eric Cantona for President

Yes, it's true! Eric Cantona wants to run in this year's French Presidential election and all he needs is a few signatures in order to allow him to do so. This excites me.

King Eric needs the backing of 500 elected officials by the end of February. Describing himself as an "engaged citizen", he sent a letter to some French Mayors asking for their support: 
"This engagement obliges me to speak, more earnestly than usual, but also with a keen sense of my responsibility, at a time when our country faces difficult choices which will be decisive for its future,"
Cantona bemoans the social injustices and the limited opportunities for youngsters in his native country. Who better to highlight such problems, than a man who became a millionaire through playing football and penning huge sponsorship deals with Nike and L'oriel and rewarded these companies by later kicking a spectating fan in the face. 

If Cantona did get through the first round of elections, he would basically have no chance in the second round without the backing of a party, which is a shame. I'd certainly rather see Eric in charge, with his perfect beard and collar up, than Francois Hollande - the man tipped to replace Sarkozy. Just look at him. He looks like the kind of guy that gives you a riddle at the start of a party.

I would like to see a film about Eric Cantona karate kicking his way through every French Politician until he is the very last man left in the election. Chris Akabusi then shows up in the Record Breakers helicopter and slides down a rope announcing a new world record has been broken. He hangs a medal around Eric's neck, shouts "awooga" and fist-pumps the air. The camera zooms in on his clenched fist, "You're the Best" by Joe Esposito plays as the credits start to roll. The end.