Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Emile Heskey will return to the wild

Aston Villa power-house and all round good guy, Emile Heskey, is set to be released on a free in the summer.  This is great news for all safari goers everywhere, as seeing the Heskey in its natural environment is truly one of life's great wonders.

Often people mock Emile Heskey but they just don't know what they're talking about.  151 goals don't just score themselves you know, and in some of the games he's played in it hasn't been about scoring goals.  Sometimes the team comes first.  In Emile Heskey's case the team does indeed seem to come first an awful lot, which is why in the 683 games he's played as a striker, his scoring rate seems a little lower than you'd expect.

One of the main reasons for getting rid of the striker when his contract runs out this summer is that he's actually one of Aston Villa's top earners.... despite being awful.  That makes him clever.  Very clever indeed.  A predator that can think........

quickly everyone, to the panic room!  AHHH HE'S COMING IN THROUGH THE ROOF