Demba Ba has a tiny release clause

Demba Ba has gone to Africa to find his place on the path unwinding in the circle of life, but while he's away lots of football managers plan to throw £5million at Newcastle to unlock the 'minimum fee release clause' special achievement in transfer land.

From the day he arrived on the planet and blinking, stepped into the sun, Demba Ba has seen himself score more goals for Newcastle than anyone thought they could see.  He's done more than ever could have been done... without him.  But with the sun rolling high in the Newcastle sky, Alan Pardew wants to keep his favourite player.  IN THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!  AND IT MOVES US AAALLLLLL THROUGH DESPAIR AND HOPE, THROUGH FAITH AND LOOOOOVE

TILL WE FIND OUR PLAAAAACE.  ON THE PATH UNWINDING YEEEEEAAAHHH!

ITS THE DEMBAAAAAAAA..... THE DEMBA BAAAAAA

Available for £5million from all good football clubs called Newcastle United, according to Harry Redknapp.