Monday, 30 January 2012

Chelsea sign Kevin de Bruyne

Chelsea have signed Kevin de Bruyne from Genk for £6.7m or £9m, depending what Newspaper you read. I have no idea who this guy is, which is funny because neither does Andre Villas-Boas.

It would appear that they signed one of the Weasley twins, probably the one that didn't die. Andre Villas-Boas has come out and said that he had nothing to do with this singing, which must make him feel great. The signing appears to be one for the future, they are actually punting him back to Belgium on loan for the rest of the season and probably next season.

AVB has said that he also had no say in the signing of the giant evil spirit monster, known simply as Lukaku but he did say that he has a lot of talent. He has to say that or else he will be eaten in his sleep. The January transfer deadline is shit. You can see that guy on Sky Sports News with about twenty phones, slowly dying inside as he has to pretend to be excited about seeing Jimmy Clubfoot sign for Rushden Diamonds for a Cadbury's Creme Egg. This after spending the entire day outside the stadium, having to talk to countless drunken, unemployed mongs. Actually, the transfer deadline is ace.