Gary Cahill passed a medical at Chelsea yesterday and was at Stamford Bridge for his new team's win over Sunderland at the weekend, meaning that the London side own him and will tell everyone this on Monday morning.
Gary finally worked out how many thousands of pounds he was willing to accept to play football for Chelsea, and will probably line-up next to John Terry in defence, meaning that the London club is now like Barcelona in that three of the starting back-line up play together. Isn't that fascinating? Don't worry, I have an erection too right now, it's perfectly normal. Don't tell Gary Cahill though, he hates boners. Because he loves driving limousines. Or something. I've run out of ideas tonight, if I'm perfectly honest.