Thursday, 19 January 2012

AVB takes Chelsea players to Majorca: Oi Oi indeed

Andre Villas-Boas is going to take his misfiring players on a holiday to Majorca for five days to boost team morale. A group of rich, petulant, twatish footballers abroad, what could possibly go wrong?
AVB has been given the go ahead by Abramovic to go on the razzle for a few days. If I was die and go to hell and if it existed I definitely would go, it would probably resemble something like the Chelsea lads' trip to Majorca. (I've read that last sentence honestly about 8 times and still have no idea what it means - JJ) Imagine having to play drinking games with John Terry? The t-shirts with slogans such as "F.B.I - Female Body Inspector" and "Beer Monster". Brainless bimbos hanging around the hotel and shit grime, dub-step and R'N'B playing continuously.

I give it about two days before one of them makes the front page of the Daily Star or some other equally amazing newspaper. Racism and accusations of sexual assault are the current tabloid favourites, so perhaps they can combine the two of them, throw in some homosexuality and beastiality and we've got a story. "Cole and co go crazy with cocaine and canines". That'll do.

Gary Cahill has just signed for the club so I hope he is ready for his initiation. Blind folded and then locked in a room with a mobile phone and Ashley Cole. Anything could happen.