Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Ajax Vs AZ Alkmaar: No parents allowed

Remember that cup game in Holland between Ajax and AZ Alkmaar when a fan ran on the pitch and tried to attack the goalkeeper but ended up getting his arse handed to him? Yeah that one. It was decided by the Dutch FA that they would replay the game in the act of fairness but no fans would be allowed, kind of.

from the Guardian 
It has now been decided that nobody over the age of 13 will be allowed to attend the game. Which I imagine will result in the strangest footballing atmosphere of all time. An adult supervisor will be required for every sixth child, which I think still works out around 8,500 adults. That's probably still enough for a tear up and I can't imagine the children offering much in the form of resistance.  After all it was just one man who decided to kick the goalkeeper last time.  Let's just hope one of the supervisors isn't Gary Glitter. Is he still alive? If not, insert any celebrity paedophile of your choosing.

Women are also banned from the game because in Holland they believe in complete equality. Having seen many females attending football matches, I can confirm that they are just as aggressive and moronic as the men are. The difference being their chants and insults are delivered in a far higher pitch and therefore far more irritating manner.

Children will be able to attend the game for free, which gives them something to do rather than happy slap old people and drink cider at bus stops. Good luck getting their attention away from Facebook and Twitter on their iPhones. "Just missed another goal FML LOL", or something with far more creative spelling. I fucking hate young people and old people. Perhaps just people in general.