Asamoah Gyan moved to somewhere in the middle east last summer because he fucking loves sand and money. Now he might come back to Sunderland because Martin O'Neill says so.
The Ghanaian star bailed from the black cats after the transfer deadline somehow in August, chasing his dream move of £5million a year wages just to run around on a football pitch. He's clearly going to be much better than everyone else in the United Arab Emirates league that he currently inhabits and I suppose there's only so long that that can keep being fun. It's like when I used to play football for my under-15s side and I was just so much better than everyone else that the manager would leave me on the bench and bring me on around about the 60th minute, just to make sure the game was fair you see, and then I would do my thing on the pitch for about ten minutes before the manager would substitute me off again. Some referred to me as the Scottish Maradona while others in the crowd called me shit. And if you're reading this, Dad, I think that was pretty out of order.