Brazilian legend and all round cool mother-fucker, Socrates, died on Friday or Saturday.
Until this weekend, the midfielder was living proof that if you want to chain smoke and booze and not only live a long life but also maintain your body to that of a professional athlete, you could. Now he's gone and proven all those dastardly scientists right by being slowly turned into a skeleton at the age of 57. He actually died from an intestinal infection in intensive care, which sucks because not only did it kill him but it is in no way a cool enough disease to deserve to defeat him. He should have died fighting giant robots on top of a mountain or something. That's how I plan to go.