Monday, 19 December 2011

Scott Dann's Testicle Explodes. Gael Givet's Heart Should have Exploded

Jesus Christ monkey balls, Scott Dann has ruptured his testicle. Just thinking about this makes me want to throw up and then cry  myself to sleep.


Why did I just google image search "ruptured testicle"? I don't think I'll ever sleep again. Dann actually played the entire 90minutes. What was he thinking? I suppose he wanted to prove his manliness after having a major part of his manliness destroyed. It really is an absolutely revolting injury. He is going to be out of action for 6 weeks but his wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband probably won't touch him ever again.

In other Blackburn injury news, Gael Givet needs heart surgery after his heart had a spaz attack and decided to beat at 300bpm. That would be fine if he was a hummingbird but is quite dangerous for a human being. Blackburn's physio said he has never come across these two injury problems in all his years in football physio........ing. Steve Kean looks a bit like a ruptured testicle, he's also about as useful as one.