|(c) Scott Baxter|
United are now being linked on an almost daily basis with anyone who has ever played in midfield, in particular Borussia Dortmund's star youngster Mario Gotze:
When Ferguson was told that Dortmund wanted £50 million for the playmaker he spat in his own mouth laughing and then asked them how much the other guy in midfield would be. Which reminds of this girl I used to know who told me she was sitting with her friend in a bar one night and some guy came over and asked her if she wanted a drink. Upon declining this offer he turned to her friend, sized her up for about two seconds and then asked 'how about you?'. She also elected to turn down this most generous of offers, and he departed by shouting at the girls on the table behind if they were interested. And it would have worked too if they hadn't all been such lesbians. I don't know what I have to do to catch a break round here sometimes.
So anyway Manchester United will almost certainly sign Jack Rodwell in January, and if not then, in the summer.