Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Ronaldo helps beat poverty by eating it. Also playing football

A fantasy team including Zinedine Zidane, Edgar Davids and Luis Figo took on the mighty Hamburg to raise money for the annual UN Match against Poverty and HOLY FUCK LOOK AT HOW FAT RONALDO IS

The legendary Brazilian's retirement from the game seems to have allowed him to focus on his first true love which appears to be eating anything he sees.  His teammates are actually just thankful that he was fed before the game, dislocating his jaw in order to swallow an entire pig in the changing room.  It didn't stop him scoring though and the Zidane & Friends XI won 5-4 in a "thrilling" match.  The starting line-up was this (from Caught Offside):
Fabien Barthez, Michel Salgado, Joan Capdevilla, Fabio Cannavaro, Gheorge Popescu, Claude Makelele, Edgar Davids, Luis Figo, Ronaldo, Zinedine Zidane, Didier Drogba.
I agree, something is missing, which is why they put Lucas Radebe on the bench.  With his years of hunting experience learned from time spent in his native African plains, the ex-Leeds captain was actually just there as a safari guide, to fire a dart and sedate Ronaldo should he forget he doesn't need anymore food and tried to attack Makelele.  That's right, another Ronaldo is fat joke.

In other news, Figo is still awesome: