Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Pear blackmails Coleen Rooney. Pear/pair.

Wayne Rooney's wife was the subject of a case of blackmail by these two people from Manchester who found her camera or phone somewhere.

"leave the dress on... it'll be.... sexier? yeh.  Oh and turn the lights off too"

Jennifer Green, 25, and Steven Malcolm, 42 and bald, have both denied demanding £5000 from Rooney's agent for the safe transportation of the camera and its photos, but Green's partner, some dude called Lee Platt, has admitted handling stolen goods and blackmail.  So basically, what I understand of this is that one of those three "found" her mobile phone or camera, realised it belonged to her and then asked her agent for £1000 to give it back.  When some bad press went around about Wayne they (by they I mean Lee Platt, lawyers) upped it to £5000 and of course they were told to fuck off, so then they went around like Hello! magazine and people like that, who also just said "oh yeh sure we'd love some stolen goods please.... NAAAAT" and now they're in court.

I sort of hope the blackmail they sent was like a picture of the phone on a chair with someone holding a gun to it.  "Leave £5000 by that tree in the park or the phone gets it" is what I would have done.  It's their own fault for not hiring me as an consultant on the whole criminal exchange.

In other news please don't try and hire me as a criminal consultant.