Monday, 5 December 2011

Man City told Hulk is £88m, Batman is £90m

Manchester City are looking for replacements for Carlos Tevez and the Sheikh seems to be getting into the spirit of what football is really about by trying to buy fictional comic book heroes.  His current interest is the Incredible Hulk who is so incredible that Porto want £88million for him.

Only having Dzeko, Balotelli and Aguero as his choices upfront, Mancini obviously needs to strengthen his squad because winning the league by March would make things a bit easier.  Hulk's agent has revealed, according to the Sunday Express, that "Five clubs have offered £40 million and Porto didn't accept it" so "only if someone meets the £88million buyout clause - if it happened, it couldn't be blocked" which makes the Brazilian worth nearly three Andy Carrolls.

At this point Liverpool would probably take Wonder Woman or fucking Aquaman to cure their idiocy at spending that much on the striker - and his only power is talking to fish, something Carroll probably achieves most Friday nights anyway.  Andy Carroll is the Premier League purchase equivalent of when I get pissed and order DVDs on Amazon.  At least I get surprise presents from myself for a few weeks afterwards.  I'm the gift that just keeps giving.