Friday, 16 December 2011

Harry Redknapp: Party Pooper

We have seen plenty photographs in the paper this week of various teams' Christmas parties. From the absolutely awesome Manchester City fancy dress one to the god awful looking, black tie Manchester United event. Harry Redknapp says that Spurs players are not aving a fackin Christmas party!

Spurs have about fourteen games over the festive period and Harry wants full commitment from all his players. This involves not going out and getting hammered on hot spiced cider. I feel sorry for the players, that shit is delicious. I'm slightly worried, I actually agree with Harry Redknapp, somebody hold me.
"If they can't behave themselves, if they can't miss having a drink with the money they are earning there is something wrong with them. They are getting fortunes. They have great careers, great lives. They can get on with their football and then go away for six weeks in the summer. Don't cause problems at Christmas."
They do have an absolutely amazing life and from personal experience the only time I ever get injured is when I'm hammered or when I'm playing football so it's probably for the best. I decided not to go to my work's Christmas party this year after my performance last year. A bottle of vodka with dinner had the desired effect, jumping out of a moving taxi into a pile of snow. After being successfully thrown back into the taxi, I arrived home, threw up on my bedroom floor and woke up on the sofa with no money, no memory and a festering pile of recycled Christmas dinner waiting for me upstairs.