Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Frank Lampard is the new Jesus

According to the British press, 33 year old Frank Lampard not only saved Chelsea, but the entire world last night by shooting a ball in a straight line from the penalty spot to beat Manchester City.  Now he's not happy about being on the bench!

Convinced that he should still be starting every single game in one of the most physically demanding leagues in the world, Lampard had this to say post-match:
"I want to play, simple as that," Lampard told BBC Sport. "I'm as fit as I've ever been. I've been in a good run of form and now I've not been playing. "I haven't spoken [to Villas-Boas] so I don't know [why], simple as that."
That damn foreigner thinks he can come over here all handsome-like and not play our darling Frank Lampard?!  Who does he think he is?!  Since scoring a penalty, which let me remind you should be a very simple thing to do, there is now talk of Lampard being England's saviour for Euro 2012.  No-one seems to have picked up on the fact that sitting on the bench all game seems to have worked quite well for the midfielder because not only did he come on and score, but he also passed the ball to Sturridge to set up the penalty in the first place.  Shooting AND passing!?? Is there nothing Frank Lampard can't do?!  Apart from quietly follow the instructions of his clearly talented manager, of course.  AVB is so wonderful that if I ever spoke to him I'd end up trying to live in his house like I was under a spell.  Maybe he's a witch.  I'm sure I read in the Daily Mail that Portuguese are all witches.