Darren Fletcher takes extended break from football
So while we were all joking about Darren Fletcher having AIDS, it turns out he really does have a pretty shitty illness which prevents him from playing football, and I mean that literally because he's announced an extended break from football to recover from 'ulcerative colitis', a chronic inflammatory bowel condition.
image from blogunited.co.uk
I really recommend not looking up the disease on wikipedia, but now that you have, I'm sure you'll agree that this really sucks because Darren Fletcher is awesome. This is not only bad news for Darren and Manchester United, but also Scotland because he's the best player we've had in years. Any hope we had of qualifying for World Cup 2014 has pretty much been thrown down the toilet, which is also where most of Fletcher's insides have spent the last few months. There surely can't be anything more frightening than playing football in front of thousands in a game broadcast to millions when you know that at any second you could shit the world out of your behind. Apart from bears. Bears are also frightening.