Friday, 2 December 2011

Corruption advisors get so annoyed with FIFA that they quit

As we have established by now, the only thing more evil than FIFA is wasps but where those insects just don't have a purpose at all, FIFA is supposed to be the governing football body.  Even bees are alright.  Oh and 'Transparency International' have cut all ties with FIFA since they ignored their suggestions.

An official with the agency said that two of their key recommendations have been completely ignored, presumably while Blatter's slaves kept feeding him grapes and the rest of the committee had an orgy on the bones of a thousand elephants.  FIFA has been embroiled in scandal since forever.  In fact here's a list of things they have done and of which nothing has changed:

- accepted bribes in exchange for awarding World Cup hosting rights
- refused to implement video technology despite the world pleading for it
- accepted bribes for other corrupt stuff (good description, I know)
- sold football TV rights to companies loosely owned by existing FIFA members
- banned the only threat to Sepp Blatter's presidency to leave him running unopposed
- tried to ban the wearing of poppies incase Germany got upset, no-one in Germany cared
- Sepp Blatter said it was fine to be racist as long as you shake their hand afterwards
- Sepp Blatter hung out with Robert Mugabe

There's a lot more, and if you look at any good football website they'll have in-depth articles about all the goings on and also they might understand more of it.  I just like the bit where Blatter sent out a photo of him hugging a black man to Rio Ferdinand to prove how nice he was.  That's like how I send pictures of myself on a motorbike carrying a bag of kittens to Elisha Cuthbert so she can see both how nails I am but also how sensitive I can be.  Nine "no-s" and one "yes" is still yes!