Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Chelsea are good again

Chelsea have been pretty shit this year and have provided us with more laughs in the first half of this season than any comedy ITV has churned out in its entire existence. After a solid win against Newcastle and an emphatic win tonight, perhaps those laughter filled days are over.

Chelsea played Valencia at Stamford Bridge tonight, before the game most of us probably thought it would be a closely fought contest. Fucking idiots we are, remember the Spanish league is shit apart from Barca and Real, no matter what the La Liga fan boys tell you. Chelsea cruised to a 3-0 victory. The absence of Frank Lampard resulted in the midfield actually having some fluency, pace and sexy penetration from Mata, Meireles and Ramires.

A few years ago, a strike force of Drogba, Torres and Anelka would have given Stephen Hawking a boner but this season they have all been rather dreadful. Perhaps with the January transfer window looming, Drogba has thought he should probably start playing well again before he gets loaned to Stoke. His two goals meant that even Torres could get a run out. In case you were wondering, yes he is still terrible.

In other news, Arsenal's mixture of women, retards, reserves and glass figurines were beaten 3-1 by Olympiakos, in which they picked up a few injuries. Wenger looked annoyed, I laughed,  Van Persie looked embarrassed and somehow Marseille qualified for the next round. The magic of Christmas.