Monday, 5 December 2011

Ballon d'Or: Completely Pointless

It's that time of year again. Fifa have released the shortlist for the Ballon d'Or. The three man shortlist is made up of Xavi, Messi and Ronaldo. I'm struggling to see what the point is.

I like this photograph. Ronaldo clearly can't be fucked and is wishing he was at home shaving his chest, Xavi looks like he's been holding in a dump for three hours and Mesis looks like he's eyeing up a guy across the bar. No doubt the three players are all brilliant players but when it comes down to it there are three levels in football. Messi's level, Ronaldo's level and everybody else.

Messi has the god given talent. Everything comes stupidly easy and he doesn't even look like he's trying. His touch, vision, passing, finishing, his brain, all a result of some crazy experiment in the Barcelona laboratories.  His physique was probably helped by having shit loads of roids pumped into him when he was growing up. Now is not the time to debate whether it was right or wrong to deny the dwarf population of having their first footballing hero.

Ronaldo burst onto the scene as a skinny twat with string in his hair.  He did a million step overs, ran at a million miles an hour but even his biggest fan would be hard pushed to say they knew he was going to be this good when they first saw him. He worked on his left foot, he worked on his technique, he hit the gym hard, he became less selfish and worked on his decision making. He is now a goal scoring phenomenom and if it wasn't for Messi he would easily be the best player playing today. But he is not Messi and he never will be.

Nobody else comes close but I really like Xavi so I hope he gets a Topshop voucher or something for finishing third.