Ashley Cole and Sam Allardyce to feature in Danny Dyer movie

If you asked me for three people I would like to put in a car and then watch it fall into a volcano, I would name Ashley Cole, Sam Allardyce and Danny Dyer.  So lucky for me they are all going to be in a film together!

We already know what kind of movie it will be since Danny Dyer is incapable of playing any part other than 'cheeky cockney that thinks it is hard' and in this movie it's reported he'll be playing a cheeky cockney football agent.  That thinks it is hard.  Adding Ashley Cole and Allardyce to the mix is a way to bring some 'authenticity to the film', because showing a repressed homosexual and an arrogant pie eating machine is the kind of cinematic trope that has propelled British cinema to the forefront of everyone's attention.  Our only hope is that Roman Polanski directs it and does the same thing to them that he did to that girl.  And by that I mean provide free haribo all day long.  What a nice guy.

I don't actually dislike them that much, it's just sometimes the internet makes me try to act all cool.  I'm just trying to impress you guys.  Like with my well researched information about stories like this.  The film is rumoured to be called 'Billy ball face gets punched in his stupid face by a shower of cunts'.  It's being distributed by Disney.