Monday, 31 October 2011

Sir Alex Ferguson is shocked at racism row

SAF has hit out at the retards currently involved in racism disputes, calling them a bunch of idiotic cunts before passing out on the sofa and dropping his bottle of whisky during our interview.

(c) Scott Baxter
The legend himself has expressed his disbelief that racism is still prevalent in the game and added that (from the BBC):
"I can't believe there is any sort of issue over race in the game given the number of black players who take part.
"It's such a rare, rare occurrence for this sort of thing to surface.
"I can't even remember the last time allegations of this sort were levelled against a player."
Ferguson has an excuse for believing that racism was a thing of the past because he comes from Scotland.  In my home village there was one black dude, a teacher, and upon seeing this unique creature for the first time, several of the native inhabitants greeted him by saying "alright darkie?".  Now, as ridiculous as that sounds, they don't know that that is racist.  If a giant blue furry monster stomped in to the town they'd greet it with the same childlike mystery.

On the other hand, Luis Suarez comes from Uruguay and I'm pretty sure he's seen a few black people before.  He might not appear as brain damaged as the people from my home town but trying to get away from being labelled a racist by saying 'I called him a negro and in Uruguay that's fine' is not enough.  That would be like if I went on holiday to Japan, found some Asian looking people and started squinting my eyes.  It's OK - I'm from Scotland!  Oh wait, hang on a minute