Friday, 28 October 2011

Oldham Athletic mascot punched in his stupid owl face

Oldham Athletic have a terrible mascot. Chaddy the Owl is described as a family favourite and gentle soul. This obviously wasn't the opinion of one Preston North-End fan who punched him in the face.


Chaddy was just hanging out with a young child before the game, taking a few photographs like all owls do. Then out of nowhere some thug walked up to him and punched him on the side of the face. Luckily owls have a lot of protective feathers so Chaddy wasn't hurt. However the child who witnessed the crime is too traumatised to talk and psychologists don't believe they will ever be able to face the true horror of what they witnessed that day.

According to Chaddy the culprit just walked over casually, gave him a right hook, then walked off to the bar for a pint like a boss. Police are treating this as a hate crime, since Chaddy is both an owl and a homosexual. Wearing thick make up and proud of his sexuality, Chaddy does not want the man who punched him banned. He simply wants to know why he hates gay owls.
"perhaps he was raped by an owl when he was younger? I really don't know. I want to meet this man and show him that he doesn't need to feel threatened or scared by all us gay owls. We are really nice. I've never raped anyone, I just fly around eating mice whilst listening to the Pet Shop Boys"
If you or anyone you know have any information that could help the police please dial 999.
Or perhaps you or someone you know has been raped by an owl? Sorry I don't have a number for that.