Thursday, 20 October 2011

Napoli Fans. Bum stabbers

Football violence - two words which have endured many years together. In Britain we used to be the pride of Europe when it came to football violence; fans would happily kick the living excrement out of each other every Saturday and the game was a mere distraction from the real thrill of serving up a knuckle sandwich for some twonk in a polo shirt. Then the 80s happened. Teams were banned from European competition and stadiums had to be made all-seated. For real psychotic football violence we must look abroad. To Naples we go!

from wikipedia
Napoli were playing Bayern Munich in the Champions League earlier this week. The game finished 1-1 but if we include stabbings then it was Napoli 7-1 Bayern Munich. According to the internet, Napoli's Ultras have an ancient tradition which entails driving around on scooters and slashing people across their bum cheeks with a knife.  Those cheeky Italians!  Six Bayern Munich fans were on the receiving end of a bum jab if that wasn't made clear enough. Nobody died, making piss taking a lot easier.

Yup they actually drive around on scooters, with knives, stabbing complete strangers. In Aberdeen our long upheld tradition is having sex with sheep, but that doesn't hurt anyone. The sheep certainly don't seem to mind. There were also reports from Naples that the Ultras were throwing flares into the visitors end but I'm not sure why that made the news since it's happened at literally every single Italian game I've ever seen. I'd probably be annoyed if I went all the way to Italy to see a game and didn't have a flare thrown at me.

Man City will play Napoli in Naples in November. I'm sure their fans are well drilled in the art of not being stabbed. From what I have read in the newspapers, every single person in England has either stabbed someone or been stabbed. All you need is a moped now you culture vultures.