Monday, 31 October 2011

Another player scores with a header from his own half

Since the dawn of time, football fans have dreamed of a player scoring from his own half with a header. We thought it wasn't possible. Like getting a 3G signal with Orange or actually getting to speak to a real human being when you phone BT. Cunts. Then about a month ago some chap called Jone Samuelsen dared to dream. He actually did it and went down in football folklore. For about a month.  Sadly for him he has already been outdone by a Japanese chappy called Fagiano Okayama.

Fag's -


Have you ever tried heading a football? It's really sore. I'm not sure if professional footballers practice by headbutting each other after a few pints down at their local but they probably do. I prefer Fag's as it has the comedy bounce over the keeper which is always delightful to see. For the Jone's goal, the keeper had come up for a corner so his hardly even counts. Sort yourself out Jone.

Imagine conceding a goal from a header from the opposing half. Imagine there's no heaven, imagine there's no countries, imagine no possessions, imagine John Lennon hadn't met Yoko Ono? Have you ever heard her sing? What an insufferable anal gland that women is.